BAM Writes A Blog: Why Couples Should Try Hotpot

Years ago, I had hotpot for the first time in Asia.

It looked really different and difficult to eat.

Luckily, my friend was Chinese, and explained the gist:

Order soup. Add meat and vegetables.

Then, my friend told me the origin of hotpot. It made me decide that someday, I’d take my future wife to enjoy hotpot.

So, on my first Valentine’s Day married, I did just that.

Before our story...

Aesthetics of Hotpot

The divided pot is the hallmark of Sichuan-style hotpot.

It’s often referred to as a Yuan Yang pot (鸳鸯锅).

The name “Yuan Yang” translates to “Mandarin Ducks.”

In Chinese culture, these ducks are symbols of a perfect, inseparable pair, much like the two contrasting broths served side-by-side.

The Split

The design is a practical solution for groups with different palates.

The two sides:

“Red”

A spicy, numbing broth loaded with Sichuan peppercorns, dried chilies, and beef tallow. It’s designed for bold flavor and a “mala” (numbing-hot) sensation.

“White”

A mild, savory bone broth or mushroom soup, often featuring goji berries, dates, and ginger. This acts as a palate cleanser or a safe haven for those who can't handle the heat.

Why the Symbol?

The Yuan Yang pot is a physical manifestation of Dualism.

The ancient Chinese concept that the universe is governed by two opposing but complementary forces.

Light and dark with balance found somewhere in between.

The Philosophy of the Pot

In Chinese thought, balance is everything. The hotpot serves as a microcosm of this harmony.

The Conflict of Extremes:

• The Yang – the red, fiery, aggressive, and stimulating heat

• The Yin – the white, cooling, nurturing, and calming broth

The Shared Center

By placing these opposites in a single vessel, the pot suggests that harmony can coexist even in chaos. The curved divider keeps the broths distinct while allowing them to share the same heat, warmth, and space: separate, yet part of one experience.

On a human level, this creates a social balance. People with very different tastes and tolerances can sit at the same table, each finding what they need. The pot becomes a bridge between those who seek the “burn” and those who seek “comfort.”

Two broths carry deep meaning:

The red side represents Qi energy and vitality designed to stimulate the body and drive out “dampness.”

The clear side represents Jing foundation and essence, providing balance and restoration as the spicy broth pushes its limits.

Together, they remind you that intensity only matters because relief exists beside it.

Each flavor defines the other.

They exist in the same circle.

Why I Wanted Hotpot on February 14, 2026

"Beyond the delicious food, I wanted to show my wife a metaphor for a successful marriage."

1. The Geometry of “One out of Two”

In a marriage, you are two distinct individuals with different temperaments, “spices,” and backgrounds.

The hotpot represents the union of opposites.

Just like the divider in the pot, a healthy marriage has boundaries that allow each person to keep their “flavor.”
Yet, you are both contained within the same circle, heated by the same fire, and sharing the same experience.

“We are different, but we are one.”

2. The Ritual of “Cooking Together”

Unlike a standard dinner where the chef does the work and you just consume, hotpot is collaborative.

You have to communicate:

“Is the meat ready?”

“Do you want more mushrooms?”

“Wait… how do I do this?!”

It’s a dance of giving and taking. In Chinese culture, placing a perfectly cooked morsel from the pot into your partner's bowl is a high-level “love language.”

"This is an act of service and care that mirrors the small, daily ways you’ll look out for each other in your life together."

3. Balance (The Yin and Yang)

Marriage is rarely 100% “spicy” (passion, excitement, conflict) or 100% “mild” (peace, routine, comfort).

A life that is only spicy burns you out.

A life that is only mild becomes bland.

By choosing the dual pot, you recognize that your partnership will need both.

"You need the fiery moments to keep things vital and the calm moments to nourish your souls."

4. The “Mandarin Duck” Blessing

The Yuan Yang pot is named after Mandarin Ducks. In East Asian tradition, these ducks are the ultimate symbol of conjugal fidelity because they are believed to mate for life.

By sharing a Yuan Yang pot, you effectively perform a traditional “toast” to your lifelong commitment.

"That's why, when I took my wife to get hotpot for our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple, it was a philosophical ceremony about how two different people can create a harmonious, balanced life together without losing who they are."

Did I win Husband of the Year?

Turns out my wife hates hotpot. But at least she knows why we went now.