Storm Clouds Gathering

Gibson Michaels or "Mike" quickly became my friend when at Dawn Ireland's Critique Group in Houston he told me bluntly, "I liked your first chapter. Then the book got boring with all the sitting and chattering. Needs more action." Mike had also taught me the word, "Cunnillingus," but that's a blog for another day.


                                                

His honesty was what hooked me. Mike didn't just say a punchline and the end. He was willing to meet for coffee, talk about ways to improve, and asked for feedback on his work. 

It's strange when you share the same passion with someone, then they die, and you realize you didn't know much about them. No idea how old he was. He claimed to have "Moses on speed-dial." 

"It's surprising someone your age can use speed-dial," was my response. To be fair, someone younger might wonder what speed-dial was.

What I knew was Mike loved history, kept pocket-sized books in his back pocket, and had a reasonable addiction to coffee. Along his Facebook wall you can find memes like this one:

The guy was a troublemaker in the Navy, a father, and was good to his partner, Brenda. 

Yet, I couldn't tell you his favorite song or middle name or if he had ever watched sunrise atop a mountain while holding a loving hand. 

What I know is almost every writer meetup I went to there was Mike taking notes. He gave advice and listened to feedback even when he thought the person talking had a few screws loose . . . especially them.

Mike was working on his first novel of a trilogy, "Storm Clouds Gathering A Military Space Opera," when we met. Kind how he'd always pretend my joke "no one sang in it" was funny. 

                                                        

One of Mike's sons made his book covers and designed his videos on YouTube. Always helpful, Mike had asked the same son to make the logo for my Facebook writer page. 

Thanks to amazon.com, Mike was able to fulfill his dream of being a published novelist. He worked his tail off to push for readers. I probably read every single review on his books to see how many people enjoyed the results of his dedication. 

We didn't have many conversations after I moved to Japan. I managed to let him know a character, last name "Gibson" was named after him in a short story published in an anthology of mine. 

Mike had made it big and got busy with awards and being nominated in The Inaugural Dragon Awards Best Military Science Fiction category for "Wrath of an Angry God" last year. 

Despite his many successes as a novelist, my favorite piece of his is "Tinkling Light" with DM du Jour, because it's short enough to read through in one sitting. 

Will forever miss my friend, Mike.

Guess I should pop on my cowboy hat, snag a paperback book off the shelf, and have a cup of coffee in his honor.

Remember to remember . . .

BAM

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Favorite Word

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ヘトヘト

phonetically pronounced: ”heh toe heh toe” (spelled heto heto), quickly became my favorite word in Japanese. 

It's slang for "I'm tired." 

This means not just "tired" but destroyed.

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ヘトヘト piqued my interest initially because I enjoy onomatopoeia. 

Japan loves their rhyme sounds, too. 

Example: もしもし
Sounds like "moo she moo she," spelled moshi moshi.

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One time I made the mistake of not responding with もしもしon the phone. 

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Caller: もしもし。             (Greeting on the phone.)

Me:      こんにちは            (konichiwa: Good afternoon / hello.)

Caller: もしもし                 (Louder this time to hint repeat me.)

Me:      はい？                    (Hi: Yes? Because I'll say what I want.) 

Caller: もしもし！!            (Say it because this is JAPAN!!)

Me:      なに？！                (Nani: What, dude?)

Caller: もしもし! !  😈        (I can do this all day, Foreigner!)

Me: ちくしょーもしもし。(Kusoo: Dang it! Greeting on the phone.)

Then the conversation started. 

So as you can see Japan is really into their rules and onomatopoeia usage.

Intrigued with how many different ways I could say "I'm tired," I searched by asking my friends and family. Some of these are slang, and some are direct.

American Sign Language: 

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Video Here

Australia:                    

Buggered 

Brazil (Portuguese):   

Morto na farofa

Canada:                      

Bagged

Costa Rica:                

Cansado

Colombia:              

  Estoy molido     

Estoy mamado 

Estoy que caigo como un bulto de papa

China:                        

我叹了 and 我三家爱了

(wo tan le / wo san j'ai le)

Ecuador:                    

Estoy agotado

France:                      

Fatigué

Germany:                  

Ich bin müde

Indonesia:                

Capek banget

and borrowed from Arabic

lelah hayati

Ireland:                 

Wrecked or bolloxed 

Israel:                     

Gamur

Italy:                         

Stanco morto

Sono stanco

Japan:                          

ヘトヘト

Mexico:                  

Muy cansado 

New Zealand:         

Knackered or buggered

Québec:                   

J'suis fatigué

Peru:                         

Estoy agotado

Philippines:            

Pagod

Russia:                    

                        подзаибался на работе                      (podzaibalsya na rabote: it's a bit dirty and involves profanity. Use your imagination.)

Scotland:               

Knackered

Spain:                     

Estoy sobado / me voy a mimir 

South Africa:          

   Ek is moeg 

Thailand:

เหนื่อย (nuei)

Tunisia (Arabic)   

Taaban

United States:      

Drained (many others)

United Kingdom  

Knackered 

Vietnam:               

Bèo nhèo

Wales:

Knackered

And finally, my favorite language . . .

Yiddish:                     

Oysgehorevet  

Here's a list of countries where English is the primary language. I don't know slang for "I'm tired" in the unhighlighted countries. Do you?

Anguilla	Ireland, Northern	Singapore
Antigua and Barbuda	Ireland, Republic of	Solomon Islands
Australia	Jamaica	South Africa
Bahamas	Kenya	Swaziland
Barbados	Lesotho	Tanzania
Belize	Liberia	Tonga
Bermuda	Malawi	Trinidad and Tobago
Botswana	Malta	Turks and Caicos Islands
British Virgin Islands	Mauritius	Uganda
Cameroon	Montserrat	United Kingdom
Canada (except Quebec)	Namibia	Vanuatu
Cayman Islands	New Zealand	Wales
Dominica	Nigeria	Zambia
England	Papua New Guinea	Zimbabwe
Fiji	St. Kitts and Nevis
Gambia	St. Lucia
Ghana	St. Vincent and the Grenadines
Gibraltar	Scotland
Grenada	Seychelles
Guyana	Sierra Leone

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I'm rather spent, beat, and a bit worn out (different ways to say "tired" in America) after compiling this list of ways to say 
ヘトヘト

Thanks for your help: 

Ana, Beryl, Brian, Cody, Darlene, David, Dee, Flo, Gadi, Ga Bri Elle, Han, JP, Keiko, Señorita Maria, Mark, Martin, Max, Megan, Mou, Na Na, Raíssa, ランギ マコール, Robert B, Rio, Sharon, Stephen, Syarif, and YF. 

Flags are from Wikipedia.

What's your favorite word or phrase and how many different ways can you say it in?

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Remember to remember . . .

BAM

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How to Write an Author Biography

(Image from flickr)

Author biographies aren’t standardized and you don't have to feel like you're being attacked. They can be fun to write.

This is to aid you. Take from the information what you will.

Within the last few years, I’ve submitted my writing to roughly 1000 magazines, journals, and reviews. On average, short story and poetry journals ask for a brief bio.

This doesn’t mean 100 words or less. Sure, keep it under 100 words unless otherwise noted. I’ve seen guidelines requesting one-sentence bios. My anthology guidelines ask for 42-word bios. It’s very important to read the publisher’s submission guidelines carefully. It gets tiresome, but take my word it’s worth the extra mile because an editor will notice you took the time and cared about their rules.

Creating a bio isn’t difficult if you think of it like a sandwich with layers:

In third person:

· Your name and educational background

· Five or less of your most relevant publications if any

· Where you live and what you do

· Your website or writer page if any

Beforehand in your email, write something personal and include the word count. It’ll act as your cover letter, which you should keep as short and equally friendly and professional as possible:

Dear editor,

My 750-word horror flash, “Killed to Death,” is attached. I love your magazine and recently got a kick out of your publication of Mary Ann Cotton’s “Poisoned 20 Victims.” Thanks for your consideration and dedication to the written word. Bio below as per your guidelines:

Now write your bio in third person (unless it’s your personal one you’ve written somewhere ex: a Facebook group or your website).

First time publication? Make a huge deal about it as your bio.

EX:

Along with a medical degree from Oxford Jack the Ripper has a decade of experience overseeing real life test subjects. This, however, is his first short story about the most sterile way to remove a human heart from a living subject. Prof. Ripper lives in London with his two cats.

Not new to publication bio:

Jack the Ripper has a medical degree from Oxford. He has publications with Hack Lit, Slash Mag, Carved Review, and in Scalpel Journal’s tenth Anthology to name a few. His piece, “The Prostitute That Almost Got Away,” won the Horror of Excellence Award with Bludgeoned to Death Publications and was featured in their first anthology. Professor Ripper lives somewhere in Europe where he kills prostitutes, that is he writes “fictional” stories about a serial killer. Website: www.scalpelofripper.com

And that’s a bio in under 80 words.

In one sentence:

Jack the Ripper went to Oxford and has publications here and there—check out his website: www.scalpelofripper.com

Now a 6-word bio with the same information: Jack the Ripper’s stories here: www.scalpelofripper.com

Good luck on your journey to publication and~

Remember to remember . . .

~BAM

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