Monday, June 12, 2017

Sexless in the City

When it comes to Japan I've only lived here for two years and am no expert on the problems in this country. However, I've seen one issue with my own eyes and it's not just that they call bald people skinheads.

Yeah, there's a nationwide consensus it's what you call bald people because in katakana their word for bald is スキンヘッド pronounced su kin he do. 

Katakana is their version of English, so Japanese people believe English speakers also call bald people skinheads. They have other terms, but this is the agreed upon one everyone uses.

A few times I've told Japanese friends, "Just say bald."

"That's offensive," for some reason they believe. 

"No," I would argue as someone bald and Jewish. "Calling someone a neo nazi white supremacist is what's offensive." 

It's so difficult to explain 
this is a skinhead:


This is a bald guy:


These are thirty minute conversations that often still go misunderstood. The listener's mind is blown and they still say "su kin he do" in Japanese like it's not offensive. 

I digress. 

Although my one desire is Japan stop referring to people with shaved heads as neo nazi white supremacists by some kind of countrywide mega language barrier fumble, this topic is about a real problem in Japan.

In recent years Japan has been worried about the decline of their population's birthrate. 

People here are very concerned. General fear is there won't be any Japanese people in a few hundred years. 

Blame goes to overworking and women being treated unfairly. 

True and true. 

However, a larger reason is people in this country are afraid of sex. 

As someone who has taught jr high school and high school, I know the most education on the topic is as follows:

"This is a condom." 


"You shouldn't have sex. If you do, use one of these or you will get aids and die a painful, slow, death." 

There's a cute character of some kind explaining it in Japanese and that's the end. 


What happens? 30-year-old virgins here cringe from the very word "SEX."

In Japan you try to have sex with someone who likes you and you've been on three dates with, and they will probably say, "No. I'm pure," (whatever that means), and will be afraid to go out again from fear that you two might have:

They want to text and talk for months before maybe holding hands and then becoming a couple like they're in some 1930s classic film. Nothing's wrong with courtship for the right reasons. When you have to do so because of fear, it's unhealthy. 

Sex is the purest action two people can do together. In Japan the masses don't want any part of it. Of course there are exceptions. 

They have a saying here:
"The nail that sticks out should be hammered down," which is why you might meet a lot of foreigners like me who say Japanese people think in one way. 

Most of them believe you work, maybe get married and have kids somehow magically, then die. 

One way to solve the decline is to educate their young on sex before they're too old and stubborn to take action. 

Don't just teach about one disease in a vague way and show a cute bear to trick people to think one way. Teach the positive aspects on the sexual, beautiful body that people have an inherited right to explore. Let them decide for themselves.

Often the best way to find stuff out is to ask people involved what they think. As a writer, I questioned a grown Japanese woman, asking her opinion on older virgins in Japan, why people were afraid of sex. 

She was too scared to talk about it. Yes, scared of even talking about sex. This was a freaking bartender! Where I'm from these are some of the most foul-mouth people on the planet. Here, bartenders think about Disneyland and Doraemon


Hey, who doesn't love Doraemon?

Anyway, I told a friend this point on Japan's population decline. He remarked, "They have sex education. It's called anime and manga."

A funny joke, yet in actuality anime and manga teaches you the following about sex:

If you find a woman attractive, you're a hentai: pervert! 


If you tell a girl she's beautiful, you're a pervert.


If you think about sex, guess what, you're a pervert.


Much like the problem with Japan's whole country believing you call bald people "skinhead," they just won't change this false ideology. 

Sexualizing someone in this country is considered perverse and wrong. This is why they're trapped in a downward spiral of self-destruction and population doom. 

It's a shame. Japan is one of my favorite places in the world. The people are fun and friendly. I'll smile at strangers and they smile back. If you lose something, i.e. money, it'll probably be returned because they're an honest society. The customer service in most establishments is so great it's from another planet. 

I'd argue it's better here than in most other places for several reasons. Yet they won't survive if they continue to think about sex as perverse and impure. 

Europe had the sexual revolution. 


In the States they have prom to secretly promote procreation to the young. Don't tell.


Japan has had no sexual revolution and there are no proms or dances. Instead they separate boys and girls during all sports activities and almost any chance they get. Girls on one side, boys on another. 


And men and women follow suit into adulthood. I'll often see a group of three men and three women on dates in a large group. The women sit on one side of the table talking to each other and holding hands. The men do about the same on their side. Meanwhile everyone casually ignores the opposite sex.

In my jr high school days in Texas we had girls on the football team. In the first high school I taught at in Japan a girl told her teacher she liked baseball. He corrected her, "You like to watch baseball, because girls play softball."

She didn't argue.

It's natural to be shy around the opposite sex. Here people accept segregated, sexless, shy traits as if this was the way of the world. 

Then you have all of these grown ups walking around thinking sex is scary, weird, and unnatural. They have festivals to make light of sex as if it's some sort of unspoken thing you joke about at parties:


One could toss the problem onto the laps of married couples and say they don't have time to raise more than one or two children or there's not enough childcare. Yet there are still thousands of virgins in this country who are terrified of sex and say they'll die before they try it. 

The lack of sex education needs to be addressed; otherwise, the problem of population decline will steadily rise. 

To be frank, Japan is fucking itself by being overly chaste.   

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